Sunday, December 20, 2015

Hello, I have baby fever




Hello (a parody written from the perspective of 35-year-old Adele)

Hello, it's me.
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet, 
to go over my cycle.
They say my eggs are getting older and my fertility's decreasin’.

Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreamin’ about havin’ your baby, 
while we're young and healthy.
I've forgotten how it felt to want to use birth control.

There's such a difference between us and a million miles.

Hello, I have baby fever.
I must have called a thousand times, 
to tell you our gene compatibility is top notch.
But when I call you never seem to be home.

Hello, I have baby fever.
At least I can say that I've tried, to tell you my ovulation is near.
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart at all.

Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry.
I hope that you're well.
Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?
It's no secret that the both of us are running out of time.

So hello from my uterus.
I must have called a thousand times,
to tell you our gene compatibility is top notch.
But when I call you never seem to be home.

Hello, I have baby fever.
At least I can say that I've tried, to tell you my ovulation is near.
But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart at all.

Oooohh, fertilize.
Oooohh, reproduce.
Oooohh, DNA.
Baby please.

Hello, I have baby fever.
I must have called a thousand times,
to tell you our gene compatibility is top notch.
But when I call you never seem to be home.

Hello, I have baby fever.
At least I can say that I've tried, to tell you my ovulation is near.

But it don't matter, it clearly doesn't tear you apart at all.